Don't Eat Your Feelings, Sally

I knew the ice cream was an ill-fated emotional purchase when I was at the store.  I knew the marshmallows, chocolate bars and graham crackers were a bad idea and that I would never actually make the s'mores, not to mention how bad they looked in context with everything else in my basket.  I knew that there was no way I could explain the THREE bags of potato chips to the cashier and was praying that she'd think I was preparing for some sort of sleep-over for my non-existent kids in my non-existent family.  I wondered what the personal trainer in front of me was thinking about my junk food on the conveyor.  But, hey, I also bought some granola bars and almonds.

And then I got home and was ticked that I let my feelings do the shopping.  I don't think I've ever, in my entire life, bought three bags of chips in one trip to the store.  At least I can say I didn't eat it all but for half a pint, I was pretty sure that Ben & Jerry were right there with me.  Defeated, disappointed, disillusioned, disenchanted, disastrously off the diet wagon; they feel my pain.

I've had a really rough couple of weeks and I'm starting to wonder if it's all rough weeks with just a few bright spots here-and-there.  And the bright spots are really only there so we don't all become a sisterhood of fat, hairy, angry old maids.  I'm sure things will look up if I can land a job, miraculously lose 15 pounds, win the lottery or, or.... buy more ice cream.  Too bad eating salads doesn't trigger serotonin production.  I'd be a waif.

People DO Change, Redux

Not to dwell in the past but I had one of those stereotypical crappy Mondays today.  It was really bad.  Shoulda'-stayed-in-bed bad.  Office Space "Somebody has a case of the Mondays" bad.  I know that somewhere, someone had a far worse day than I but I'm so bitter that I can't see past my own pitiful problems.

I have gone through a few rounds of interviews for a big-deal job for a huge mega-corporation and got the "thanks but no thanks" email today after filling out the "obligatory affirmative-action form" - are they allowed to tell me that they aren't hiring me because of my race??  Because it's a majority?  Seems weird to me.  That drama was followed by a text from my best friend backing out on our plans to go see Mary Poppins at The Fox on Thursday (which we'd had planned since January) because her 9-month-old has "been fussy" the last few nights and she can't leave her at home with the dad for a few hours because he won't be able to sleep well that night.  It really amazes me.  I know that I'm their only single friend but they must not realize that none of my other friends are single so I do actually have a point of reference for such things.  Of all of my friends with offspring, they are the only ones who are always freaking out.

Mother Theresa, I am not.  Can you imagine?  "You have malaria, child?  Oh, yeah, well I have to go stag to Mary Poppins, so get over it."  So, it's not exactly that bad.  But then.....

The "He's Just Not That Into Me" ex-boyfriend got married over the weekend.  She can have him, seriously.  But why does this kind of news always kick you when you're down?  Why never on the day that you win the lottery?  I had secretly hoped that they'd not make it through their engagement so I could say "see what a jerk he was!?"  Mr. and Mrs. Jerk are now on their honeymoon in the tropics and will be residing in their new home in Dallas, TX upon their return next week.  They are not registered because "with each other, we have everything we need."  To quote Christian Siriano, "I think I just died from barfness."

Spinster Thought of the Weekend

"Don't laugh at the spinsters, dear girls, for often very tender, tragic romances are hidden away in the hearts that beat so quietly under the sober gowns, and many silent sacrifices of youth, health, ambition, love itself, make the faded faces beautiful in God's sight. Even the sad, sour sisters should be kindly dealt with, because they have missed the sweetest part of life, if for no other reason."
— Louisa May Alcott (Little Women)