I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggonit, People Like Me

I work part-time at a fashionable clothing store.  Not at all a snotty nightmare of a boutique; we're completely approachable and pretty mainstream in popularity and style.  I always tell friends that you've never seen crazy until you work in retail - and especially so in clothing.  The general public is generally pretty nuts.

I helped a woman earlier tonight who went to great lengths to belittle herself.  Every statement out of her mouth was completely deprecating.  What was interesting about it, though, was that I hadn't formed an opinion about her at all.... until she started to tell me how much she disliked herself.  She said she used to be a size 4 and she hates herself for gaining weight up to a size 6 (who wouldn't love to be a size 6??) and then went on and on about how un-stylish she is, how she never takes care of herself, how she doesn't bother to wear makeup because it wouldn't help anyway, she never knows what to do with her hair, she's a single mom and can't find a good man, etc., etc.

In the end, I couldn't help myself.  I said "I can sell you this blouse, but what you really need is a good, healthy daily affirmation.  A new top won't fix your self-image."  I thought she'd be pissed but told me that's what her therapist had said, too.  I wanted her to leave as quickly as possible - I wanted her bad vibes as far away from me as she could get them.  But it got me thinking about how often I've probably done that in the past.  And about how much of what she said, what I've likely said myself, is so automated that she doesn't even realize how much toxic waste is coming out of her mouth.  It's like telling someone "Don't like me, and here are a bunch of reasons to back that up."  Ugh.  If I was a man on a date with that, I'd be running for the door, too.

At least the next time I'm tempted to be self-deprecating, I'll remember how completely unattractive it is and take a page from Stuart Smalley's book.