So, People DO Change?

I'm sure all women (at least my age and younger) have read He's Just Not That Into You and can unequivocally vouch for the truth in those pages.  I think Liz Tuccillo is hilarious (and didn't get enough credit for that book). I completely understand the basic concept.  If he doesn't call or commit or whatever it is that he isn't doing for you, with you or to you, he's just not that into you.  SO true.  And, likewise, fellas.

As a serial dater, I'm really not that hurt when he's not that interested and we part ways.  I'm usually not that interested in him, either.  I'm picky.  But when I have dated someone for a significant period of time (for me, three months is in that category) and we stop seeing each other, I'd like for him to move to another continent and never call me again.  That's what I really mean when I tell someone to "drop dead" - inside I'm saying "I hope you move to Antarctica", not "I hope you have angina."  I have to stop saying that to people.

I dated a guy in 2004 for three or four months.  He was so unbelievably difficult.  He hated crowds, he hated any corporation, he hated pop culture, hated chinese food, hated food with seasoning in general,  hated all of the music that I listened to. He was pleasant at parties and all my friends loved him.  (That was sarcasm.)  He hated sarcasm, hated going to the movies, hated going to concerts, hated "defined" relationships, hated pets, hated holidays, hated kids, hated couples, hated dining out, hated the internet.  It was like dating a good-looking unabomber. Wondering why we went out for three months?  One guess...the one thing he did like.

He had no job, no home, a beat up old car, no money and no direction in life.  (I feel like I need to stress here how handsome he was.)  I'd had my fill of his miserable company, so I broke up with him.  And over the years, he has resurfaced every now and then, usually for one thing.  Thanks to modern technology, he connected with me on facebook.  Thanks to consistent stupidity, I "friended" him.

It was great at first.  Same miserable guy, he moved to Texas.... not Antarctica but good enough for me.  And then he started to evolve.  And I did NOT like it.  He started his own company.  He bought a new car.  He bought a DOG!  WHAT!?  Three things that flew in the face of his annoying beliefs.  And in my ability to believe that I'd at least dodged a bullet when we didn't work out. Then, the worst thing happened.  He met a woman and fell in love. And it's all over facebook.  He loves everything.  They recently went on a few weekend trips together, they dance weekly at the salsa club (seriously!?!) where they met, he brought her home to meet his family, they take loads of "happy couple" pictures and now they have bought a house together and have announced an engagement.  So, the truth is, he's just that into her.

So many times I've wanted to comment "but you always hated that" but I can't do it.  I can't do it to the girl he does love and I can't do it because I really am the girl who loves everything and I am too nice.  I love everything that he hated and deep down inside, beneath the "drop dead" is a little kernel of gladness for his crummy evolution.  And beneath that kernel is another one that knows he's in love now, but in a few years, he'll probably be back to hating everything.  As a girl, though, no matter how sure I am that this guy is one miserable party-pooper, I can't help but wonder what it is that she has that I didn't?  I hope they'll be very happy together.  And I hope their new home is in Antarctica.

Image credit: Megan W Photography http://meganwblog.com   

The Story of Carl & Ellie

I might as well come out of the dork closet early on: I am a HUGE Disney and Pixar fan.  If I could move into the Magic Kingdom, I would.  I'm not a pin-trader or a figurine-collector and I don't attend conventions but I am a professional memory-collector. 

The first movie I ever saw in a theater was Mary Poppins with my mom.  The first time I got scared at a movie in the theater was during Night Crossing, resulting in an unfortunate spillage of an entire box of red hots, with my mom.  The first 3-D film I ever saw was a Chip & Dale/Donald Duck cartoon with my beloved, dearly missed grandparents.  The first drive-in movie I ever experienced was a double-feature of Snow White and something else that I fell asleep during, with my entire family.  (They still have drive-ins here in the South and they were rampant in the late 70's/early 80's.)  My first record was Mickey Mouse Disco.  I remember walking down Main Street USA for the first time in 1981, holding my little sister's hand.  I had my first panic attack in a bathroom stall in Fantasyland behind Peter Pan's Flight on my 30th birthday.  See the pattern?

I didn't really intend this to be a love letter to Disney but, honestly, it's been my longest commitment next to my little family.  I have even refused to continue dating men who take a political stance against Disney.  (To be honest, I generally don't date men who boycott stuff just to be "cool" or controversial.)  And you don't want to get me going on what a visionary Walt was and how thorough the Imagineers are or how detailed Pixar is.

So as I was putting my blog together this morning, I had UP playing in the background and just hearing it playing brought back the flood of emotions I felt when I first saw it.  Only five minutes into the movie and I'm bawling, my throat is killing me and my heart is at once breaking for Carl & Ellie and in love with Carl & Ellie.  I'm not giving anything away but this movie fully captures the essence of life and love in just a few minutes of frames.  The most artful and tender way to tell a love story I think I have ever seen.  Ever.  More impactful than a two hour movie.  No dialogue, just the unspoken narrative of beautifully animated character development.  I. Was. On. The. Floor.

It amazes me how affected I am by this scene every single time.  It's just so expressive that I can't help but turn to mush.  The love Carl & Ellie have for each other and the love the animators must have had for these characters just shines through.  I need to remember to put this movie in when I wonder what it's all about, what the meaning of life is.  It's the story of Carl & Ellie.